I consult with so many potential clients that tell me they are contemplating divorce. Some have even gone as far as traveling to the courthouse to pull up the divorce papers and have them ready to fill out. But, they just can’t seem to do it. Put pen to paper is difficult. I tell those clients, don’t do it. Even if you have moved out of the house, have your own separate apartment and are sure that you will never get back with your spouse you are not ready for the next step. Until you can walk into my office and say “I am ready” for a divorce and I have No Doubt in my mind, whatsoever, you are not ready. Divorce is a difficult process and it is emotionally tolling. It requires sound decisions to be made during that emotionally draining time. I need my clients to not have second doubts, I don’t want them to have second doubts because then it is not right and it’s not the right time. I know this sounds like common sense but there really are a number of people who say “I think I’m ready,” and I tell them “you are not ready.” Until you have come to terms with the divorce, the process cannot take place.
I tell clients who are not ready: Enjoy living apart, having your own space, calm yourself down emotionally, take deep breaths and if, and when the moment is right, you will know. If not, then even better, contemplate reconciliation.